Is that a limp or a bounce in my step?

I think I’m getting walk back. It’s the old fashioned kind of walk. The kind that gets you from here to there.

I just want to be with Jesus.

Have you ever noticed troubled people don’t get help? People who aren’t messed up get loads of sympathy and excuses, because trouble is unusual for them. That’s why if I’m struggling with something, I try to minimize it or hide it or at last tell everyone I can handle it. Moreover, I must keep it from defining me or I’ll be like those people who have given up and are just “struggling”. Those poor folk. They need to get it together and stop being such a needy center of attention. Nothing worse than a needy person, you know?

Everyone needs to believe that my head is above water, most of all me. The exception to the rule is when I have one of those bad days, but we all have them right? The trick is to not stay there. Just keep moving.

Well, for me, if giving up is camping in hell, then I’ve got a time-share.

I’ve got junk. I’ve never denied it. But my journey took me to a place that I struggle believing I can return from. And let me show you what the hole’s depth is: How many times have you met someone you thought was okay and someone told you they weren’t? They told you what dirty secret they carry. Not like the rest of us.

Billy Graham raped a girl when he was 19, but he got saved. Mother Theresa had an abortion before she started with the lepers. Paul tortured Christians before he became one.

Tell me you aren’t bothered by two out of three of those stories. Tell me you wouldn’t be scandalized if they were true.

What if we didn’t know that Paul had a past? What if we only knew he was just an awesome little almost perfect Jesus-guy?

…

I’m done worrying about it. It’s the first step of an old journey. Maybe I got distracted. Maybe I lost hope. Maybe I failed. Maybe God knew from the start.

If you care, you’ll let me say that what I read in God’s face when I look at Him is all I want.

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