Always the same

What does it take to make us doubt what we have been taught is right and true?

Satan’s voice both the question and the answer.

Be strong and courageous

Joshua 1:6-9

“Be strong and courageous, for you will distribute the land I swore to their fathers to give them as an inheritance. Above all, be strong and very courageous to carefully observe the whole instruction My servant Moses commanded you. Do not turn from it to the right or to the left, so that you will have success wherever you go. This book of instruction must not depart from your mouth; you are to recite it day and night, so that you may carefully observe everything written in it. For then you will prosper and succeed in whatever you do. Haven’t I commanded you: be strong and courageous? Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.”

Micah 6:8

My relationship with you is so tenuous. How can this be? How am I NOT the only project in this matter? Clearly you are steadfast, immovable and relentless.

Relentless.

Your mercies ARE new every morning.

We have our moments you and I. But they are swept up and forgotten. Where is faithfulness? Where is steady meditation? Where is the relationship that can keep?

He has shown thee, o man, what is good and what the Lord requires of thee: but to do justly and to love mercy…and to walk humbly with your God.

May it be.

If I am the project then it is ‘to walk well with our God’. I will leave the projections to you Lord.

Community Finds A Way

What do you do when all you feel is pain, weariness and despair? What do you do when all efforts feel the arthritis of failure and giftlessness? What do you do when shame and regret brutalize you, bruising your mind and numbing your heart? What do you do when visions of freedom are lost and all strength fails you? What do you do when the last innocence of youth is strangled from your limbs and even the past is under the shadow of tomorrow? What do you do when crawling out of your last ditch for hope, a friend comes to you from theirs? When a friend tells of their struggle to keep faith and in that directionless course they were captured, raped and left for dead? What do you do when all the strong are doubters, sinners and failures who cannot hold a banner let alone lend strength to one? What do we do when the dead start paying rent and the found become lost? What do you do when parents partner in sundering a child’s life, their love turns to lust and they shelter with shame? What do you do when hope dies in a friend’s eyes? When marriages are lost on a windless sea, what do you do? What do you do when the joyful make withdrawals? What do you do when the saved are just glad to be?

What the hell is this place?

i still believe.

Is that a limp or a bounce in my step?

I think I’m getting walk back. It’s the old fashioned kind of walk. The kind that gets you from here to there.

I just want to be with Jesus.

Have you ever noticed troubled people don’t get help? People who aren’t messed up get loads of sympathy and excuses, because trouble is unusual for them. That’s why if I’m struggling with something, I try to minimize it or hide it or at last tell everyone I can handle it. Moreover, I must keep it from defining me or I’ll be like those people who have given up and are just “struggling”. Those poor folk. They need to get it together and stop being such a needy center of attention. Nothing worse than a needy person, you know?

Everyone needs to believe that my head is above water, most of all me. The exception to the rule is when I have one of those bad days, but we all have them right? The trick is to not stay there. Just keep moving.

Well, for me, if giving up is camping in hell, then I’ve got a time-share.

I’ve got junk. I’ve never denied it. But my journey took me to a place that I struggle believing I can return from. And let me show you what the hole’s depth is: How many times have you met someone you thought was okay and someone told you they weren’t? They told you what dirty secret they carry. Not like the rest of us.

Billy Graham raped a girl when he was 19, but he got saved. Mother Theresa had an abortion before she started with the lepers. Paul tortured Christians before he became one.

Tell me you aren’t bothered by two out of three of those stories. Tell me you wouldn’t be scandalized if they were true.

What if we didn’t know that Paul had a past? What if we only knew he was just an awesome little almost perfect Jesus-guy?

…

I’m done worrying about it. It’s the first step of an old journey. Maybe I got distracted. Maybe I lost hope. Maybe I failed. Maybe God knew from the start.

If you care, you’ll let me say that what I read in God’s face when I look at Him is all I want.

Self is the toughest critic. Holla if you hear me.

I have to get this off my chest if I’ve got a shot at this: It’s very hard for me to blog. But I feel chemically drawn, maybe even called to write some things down. Perhaps it would be good for me. Lord knows I do a lot of “external processing”. Maybe this could be a better outlet than gagging a good friend (or unlucky acquaintance) until 2am!

On the other hand maybe, just maybe others may benefit from a discussion led by me. I love to help people and maybe this will be of profit. Maybe this will be good.

So without further ado… (Is that how you spell that?)